Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
