she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
