I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
