If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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