And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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