If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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