I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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