Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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