your room smells of hookers.
And success
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
