I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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