i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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