that's an acceptable place to lick
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
