im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
