i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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