what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
