I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
