he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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