I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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