he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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