A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
