There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
