The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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