Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
