You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
