honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
