So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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