I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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