We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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