just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
