I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
