apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
