Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
