Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
