I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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