sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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