just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
