somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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