He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
