I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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