Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
NoShamevember. You game?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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