I smell stomach acid.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize