I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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