I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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