Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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