I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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