didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
