he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
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I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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