I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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