pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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