She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
