i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Randomize
