shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
