so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
