pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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