Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
