yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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