never play flip cup with pint glasses
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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