I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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