drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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