his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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