are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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