i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
