In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
as a side note pls kill me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
