When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize