Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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